


Booty

by EsculentEvil



Series: EsculentEvil's BatJokes Shots [28]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mature Jokes/Puns/Situations, Possessive Behavior, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 20:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17029365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: Inspired by a random thought that flit through my brain when I sawthis gif setby@joker-eruri.Basically: Joker takes a moment to remind Batman that he's very possessive of his things.Originally posted to my Tumblr @esculentevil





	Booty

“You know, Batsy, Darling...” Joker casually speaks, “I think it’s time we talked.”

Batman frowns as he stares the clown down, “About what?” His detective vision is telling him that there are no explosives or weapons or hostages nearby them.

“About your clothing, love; it’s got to change.”

A thick but well groomed eyebrow raises high under Batman’s cowl, “What?” Joker giggles, seeming to find his incredulity hilarious, and waves a vague hand. Batman tries to understand to what, exactly, the Joker is indicating but can’t.

Joker rolls his eyes (World’s Greatest Detective, my  **buttocks**!), “Your clothing, Ba **t** man! It’s too...  **revealing** , Darling; and you’re  **my**  Darling, so that won’t do!”

Batman stares at his nemesis disbelievingly. He wants to gape, drop his jaw, stammer—even—but he knows that would just encourage the clown’s laughter. Instead, he just tries to understand what Joker’s talking about, “Revealing?”

His  **full-body-coverage** ,  **Kevlar** ,  **everything-proof**  suit.

Joker nods emphatically, “Yes!” With quick steps, he saddles up to the Bat, grinning wicked and wide, “ **Far**  too revealing, Batsy boo!” He spins, enjoying the moment (Being the center of my Batsy’s attention; O jive!), before continuing, “Take me, for example! My clothing doesn’t reveal nearly as much as yours~”

Batman stares at the flimsy silk shirt, satin suit, and sleek shoes, “...  **What**.”

Joker giggles, seeming to think Batman  **cute**  ( _Of all things..._ ). “Chicken but **t**.”

Gotham’s dark hero resists the sudden urge to facepalm.

Still giggling, Gotham’s clown prince steps back and appears to display himself. He gestures to his middle first, “My shirt’s untucked.” Then, he turns and shows his coat tails, “My jacket’s long and designed to  **not**  flip up.” Finally, he lifts the tails—with slight difficulty because, as ludicrous as this is, he’s not wrong about his personally designed clothing—and shows off the undertails: his  **shirt** ’s tails, “I even doubly protect my boot!” Turning to fully face the Bat, The Joker frowns, “But  **you**.” A long, tapered, needle-like finger pushes the vigilante’s bat symbol, “ **You**  wear that tight, form-fitting suit that shows off  **your**  booty to everybody!”

Batman finally allows his jaw to slacken as the ridiculous point clicks in his brain.

A hand is then, suddenly, gripping aforementioned booty, “But this butt is  **mine**.”

**Author's Note:**

> Nope. Not even sorry. It’s just too true. [For those wondering: this idea came to me after I saw the gifs and thought to myself: wow, Joker’s shirt’s untucked; that’s kinda strange; he’s usually so formal and put together and perfect for his Batsy; now that I think about it... why does he do that; and if he really did untuck his shirt more why would he do that; to protect the Bat’s goods—Ah~ Then I thought back to all the times you can see Batman’s butt when his cape goes up and...


End file.
